The Emmys

The Emmys were last night. (Betty White joke.) A lot of new winners, like Modern Family, Jim Parsons, and Kyra Sedgwick, emerged. (Betty White joke.) And Jimmy Fallon hosted. (Betty White joke.) Yes, that's basically the Emmys telecast in font form, but with less Betty White jokes. Here's the opening skit, with Jimmy Fallon, Glee stars, Jorge Garcia, and, of course, Betty White:




This was pretty good, with limited cringe-worthy moments, but cringe-worthy moments nonetheless. Jimmy trying to rock out, and yelling "C'mon! Yeah! C'mon!" at people like Glenn Close seemed like trying to excite a retirement community. And Randy Jackson? Alright. The best moment comes at about 6:26, when Neil Patrick Harris feels he might be upstaged for merely singing about remotes the previous year. But then he remembers the Neil Patrick Harris Principle, which guarantees that anything Neil Patrick Harris does is better than whatever people who aren't Neil Patrick Harris do. And he smiles.

Highs:
- Jimmy Fallon's Green Day ode to Lost 
- 98% of the Temple Grandin speeches
- That look on Matthew Fox's face when his name was called as a nominee that was so "I ain't winning this for that!" 
- Angela Chase winning an Emmy. How do I know it was Angela Chase who won an Emmy and not Claire Danes? The use of the term "for serious."  
- The elimination of false modesty from the guy who accepted for The Daily Show: "It's hard to feel bad [for the other nominees] because we work really hard." Can every award show have at least one winner from now on (not named Mo'Nique) that exclaims "I earned this, and they didn't!"

Lows:
- Archie "this is good for my career!" Panjabi
- The popularity contest masquerading as an In Memoriam
- No Tina Fey acceptance speeches
- The fact that Two and a Half Men was included in the "Comedy" montage
- The entire being that is Giuliana Rancic
- Al Pacino's whispered ramblings and the awkward cut to Jack Kevorkian himself

In Betweens: 
- NBC's subliminal messages about their unannounced but presumably developed ER television movie. What else can explain the many appearances of fan favorites George Clooney, Julianna Margulies, and Maura Tierney? Sally Field chose the wrong year to suck
- That Top Chef producer who tripped
- Ricky Gervais handing out three trays' worth of beer to the audience. It's a little better than Glee's pizza shilling at the People's Choice Awards, but not much

What did you think of "TV's biggest night"? Or were you busy watching Mad Men and True Blood?